A momentary diversion from issues of style, or maybe not

The New York Times this week has published a series of articles and Op-Ed pieces on a Pew Study: http://pewresearch.org/pubs/1466/economics-marriage-rise-of-wives that shows that in 22% of marriages, women earn more than men, and in 28% of marriages that women are more educated than men. This, of course, affects the balance of power and, in turn, the balance of control. Women seem to be writing about how they feel they should be able, in these situations, to dictate or suggest what the man should be doing (stay home? do more housework? be the wife?) or else lament the fact that it's not the 50s and they can't sit around drinking coffee with their girlfriends, playing tennis, and making a pot roast and martini for their hardworking husbands when they got home.

What is it about being an either/or situation? You must be in control, or you must be not in control? As much as I've been one to notice, with all too much detail, what is fair and what is not fair, I can't imagine being in a situation where people don't work together and play to each of their strengths (be it working, cleaning the toilet, doing laundry, etc.) and finding a relatively equitable balance that leaves both partners happy. And if that doesn't work, hiring out some things if at all possible. Again, perhaps a matter of style...but to be complaining because one is earning more and believes they are worth more in the relationship, or to be complaining that one wishes they didn't have the responsibility yet have the worth....seems....stupid.